Do some good.

Few things over the last few days:
- Friday checked out Bill Clinton's Giving
- Today I saw the Darfur Now documentary
- I found the kiva.org website that allows regular people to make microloans

Now with all this inspiring information it's time to do something. I made one loan on kiva to Faaafe Taioalo, a Samoan woman on her second loan, this time raising money for a plantation. Check it out.

With so many causes out there, it's hard to decide who to give to, but I'm glad I am in the position where I can.

Let's do some more.

How Oprah did not ruin the marathon

In response to a not so original yet still enraging article in Salon:

Give me a break

Which is it? It's good for non-elite runners to run a marathon in an exercise of self-improvement, or it's bringing the *whole* American competitiveness in the sport of marathon down? Really, give me a break. The slower people are not holding the elites back. I live in New York and run in lot's of races. The elites are always able to start up in front. Do you really think some slower runner is keeping those people from pushing themselves? Are slower runners keeping elite runners from training longer and harder? I really don't think so.

I really like this:

"When the attitude simply becomes to finish, that attitude becomes pervasive," says an old marathoner.

Who said that, really? Interesting it's not attributed.

Maybe the personalities that are getting attention in this sport are not the ones you would like (Oprah, John Bingham), but that does not really have anything to do with whether our country can produce olympic medal-worthy marathoners. What about Lance Armstrong having a camera follow him through his NYC Marathon last year? Is he holding back elite, long-distance runners, too?

Here's my argument:
- more people are pushing themselves (remember, running is solitary sport!), trying to get healthier; I think we agree that is positive

- many of these people are out moving their bodies for twice as long as an elite athlete. In fact, I'd be curious to see some of the faster runners push themselves for 4.5, 5, or even 6 hours straight (just because they take walk breaks doesn't mean while they are running, they are not pushing themselves hard)

- these are the people that are not winning money (not that cash prizes for winners are at all bad), but many times raising *thousands of dollars* for charity in order to run the marathon. As you mentioned, Team in Training, as well as dozens of others, could not exist and support the organizations they do without the thousands of runners that need help to get to the start and finish line.

- (I did not include in my letter, but should have) Elite runners are winning larger purses because the popularity and support of the marathon distance

Good job provoking a reaction, but I'm not sure I call this journalism.

People I used to know

I used to know a guy named "Happy Jeremy". He was in my kindergarten class. It was the late 70's in Austin at elementary school where lot's of kids' parents were university students at UT. I guess that explains the name. I wonder where he is now, and if he goes by his full first name still?

Old Dog

This morning was hard. David had to prepare for class so I took the dogs out for their morning walk. After about 15 minutes we were on our way home when Kylo had a seizure in front of the elementary school. He's an old dog now, and has gotten drastically slower this last year, so when he paused, I didn't think much of it. Suddenly, his body crumpled and fell as if it he'd been tipped over. His body went stiff for several seconds. I was not sure what to do and yelled out his name. I started to think about sticking something in his mouth (I vaguely remembered you are supposed to do this when someone has a seizure so they don't swallow their tongue--apparently that is not true though, of humans or dogs according to our vet). After what seemed like several seconds, his body slackened, he gained consciousness and slowly got up as if nothing had happened. He was still slow the last block home, but otherwise seemed fine.

Luckily, the vet was able to see us just a few hours later. She speculates it might be a tumor, but cannot be sure after just one. The only way to know for sure is to do a brain scan (approx $1500). If found, the options might be brain surgery or chemo treatment (running about $5000 each). Again, luckily, she does not recommend after just one seizure. We kept an eye on him the rest of today and he seems ok. I'm mostly worried about a much bigger one, which could cause brain damage, happening while we are away from the apartment. Who knows if this is even the first one anyway? It's just the first one we've seen. Oy, and we thought the recent bouts of incontinence were bad.

Kylo is old. When we got him and Kat in 1998, the SPCA estimated he was 4-5 years old. He's a doggie senior, but if we can enjoy his companionship a while longer, I would be very appreciative. Could someone arrange that for me? Thanks.

My Three Favorite Animals

When does school start?

Ok, so I just posted last night about some ideas/goals floating around my head (which are much more binding now that I've typed them out). Something about art and self betterment, blah blah.

So what do I see in my little Metro commuter paper? A short article about The Trapeze School. That is not really that unusual. In fact, I'm sure I read a similar article in either that paper or AM New York within the last year or so. So I'm not calling it a sign. It's just a little fun reminder that I'm doing something. But I'm not ready. Not yet. Hmmm.

It's been a while

So yes, it has been a while since I wrote. I've thought about writing many times, but as we know thinking about doing something and actually doing it are not really the same thing.

My plan was to write about my travels on this thing. There have been plenty of work trips and even a few personal ones this past year, but I've felt very blocked every time I think about putting it together in a blog entry. There's laziness, procrastination and at least a little self-loathing in the recipe here. Nothing new, I suppose.

I have been in a bit of an upheaval lately, though. Work was overwhelming, I was so behind in my marathon training that I dropped out of the NYC Marathon, and my weight has steadily been creeping back up. When I think about it, none of it is exactly terrible. I still like my job, I am able to defer my marathon entry to Nov 2008, and I'm still nowhere near my highest weight. All that, but I'm starting to feel a panic. We've been in New York for more than 3 years now and I don't feel like I'm really using my life properly. There are a hundred things I could be doing in this city. Eventually we will move somewhere else and I don't want to regret all of the things I did not do. I'm not really just talking about seeing sites and eating at fancy restaurants. I'm talking about being creative in a place where there are so many opportunities to do art. I am doing no art and it makes me sad. I'm 34 and I'm not using my life properly.

Problem is--at least one of the problems is--I am very "realistic." Meaning, whenever I start to feel excited and hopeful about something, I immediately start to imagine when this new passion will seem like old hat, when I realize I'll never be successful at it, or I understand that it was very silly/childish to have ever considered such an undertaking. I guess this rational side has served me well in some ways; I do feel successful in a few areas of my life. But I think it is also holding me back. I feel like a jaded old timer, but I never got to be the naif.

So I'm resolving to try and make some changes. I'm in my second week of weight watchers (trying really hard not to include a snarky comment here) in the hopes that will boost my confidence as I start on my new artistic endeavors. So far, it's a bit difficult but I can do this. Already down about 4 pounds. Now about 45 more to go.

Additionally, I'm making a little list of things I am thinking about trying and doing my best not to snuff out the excitement before it starts:
- photography - I'm talking about staged scenes and interesting portraits. Cindy Sherman and Lee Friedlander are inspirations
- writing - I would really like to write a short story or a short play; essay may be more my speed, but I want to explore a little
- music - I haven't played in at least 4 years. I'm so sad to write that. I would really like to pick up the guitar; have a guitar (though needs to be strung) and some beginner books, must really see about that
- acting - oh it's too painful to put anything here. I'm already mortified.
- acrobatics - I want to try that trapeze school next summer. Got to work on my upper body strength and lose some pounds

OK. Confession time is over. I have to publish this before I change my mind.

Bad planning

Ok, so I think this is funny--pathetic, but funny. This is what
happened to me last night:
5:50 pm - I had one more email to write before I left for running
class last night. It had to go out to some people in Asia, so they
would get it overnight while I was, presumably, sleeping comfortably
in my bed. I won't go into details, but after about 20 minutes worth
of careful composition, I lost it all and had to rewrite it.

6:30 pm - I went to change for running class and realized the only
running bra I had was the zipper one--you know, the one where the
zipper comes down while I am running and then the girls go flying.
Considering I am wearing a white shirt, not so good (not so good
anyway, but even worse with this). I have 2 backpacks with me and no
safety pin (I probably have about 10 safety pins in my 3rd
backpack--the one that is at home). I manage to fasten my bra with a
small document binder clip. It holds beautifully, but class is
starting, and I am 1.5 miles away during rush-hour traffic. I decide
to run to the school to try and catch the group.

6:48 pm - I reach the school to drop off my bag and I am already hot
and tired, but the bra is still in place. Kate had kindly called me to
let me know the group is going to East River, about .75 miles from the
school. A quick stop off in the bathroom and I'm off to the ER, hoping
to catch the group for at least part of the workout.

7:02 pm - I reach the ER and the last (read: slowest) group is lining
up to run the 1.25 mile stretch. I can't believe I have caught them.
The breeze is nice, but I've hardly caught my breath before we start
running. Despite my best efforts, I quickly fall to the back and am
the slowest of the group (even slower than the girl in front of me
that keeps stopping because she is nauseous). On the way back, coach
pushes me to the front to "give me a head start". I still fall behind,
but am not the slowest. At least I do not stop to walk the entire
workout.

8:10 pm - Kate, Denise and I head over to the deli to get food post
class. I am feeling good, but a little light headed from lack of water
and food. I manage to drop a fancy yogurt which explodes a little on
the floor, making only a minor scene.

8:25 pm - Kate and I head to the park for the NY Philharmonic concert
and out picnic. Park is packed, and you can hardly hear the music, but
it is lovely nonetheless.

9:40 pm - We are tired, can't quite stick it out for the fireworks. We
go our separate ways.

9:45 pm - I realize I left my monthly metro card in the office. I am
in no huge hurry to get home, so decide to walk the 1.25 mile back to
my office, watch the fireworks along the way and call David.

10:15 pm - I am in the office and decide to check my email--bad idea.
Guy in Asia sees I am online and asks if he can call me on a few
questions. I am on the phone for about 20 minutes, mostly apologizing
for something I have little control over. This is my job.

10:45 pm - I decide I must upload pictures from trip to my Facebook
page. I'm sweaty (AC on our floor turns off at 6) and stink from
running, but not in a huge hurry to get back home.

11:55 pm - must really get home now. I head to subway, completely
missing the sign about service changes on the 1 line.

12:30 am - after waiting 25 minutes for the 1 train, it comes and I
find out that it is going express after 96 street. This means I either
have to take the train to 165 st and then wait for another train back
downtown, or I have to take a bus/cab from 96th st.

12:45 am - I arrive back to the apartment and realize quite quickly
that I do not have my keys. They are in the *other* bag I left at the
office. Also, I do not have enough money to get a cab back to the
office.

12:55 am - as I am walking to the ATM half a mile away, I see a bus. I
catch the bus, happy with my good luck.

12:58 am - bus passes my stop. Apparently the M60 does not stop at 112
st. I start to argue with the bus driver, but realize it is my own
mistake. Walk 2 blocks back to the ATM machine. I am convinced that
with my luck, I will get mugged as soon as I am done at the ATM. This,
thankfully, does not happen.

1:05 am - catch a cab back to my office. The driver has the window
between me and him closed. In order to make up for the sound blockage,
he has to have the radio up very loud in the back and what he's
playing is terribly cheesy and not in a good way ("Girl, why don't you
come back to my place, we'll drink some cold, cold wine (?), you look
so sweet, ohhohohohoh")

1:20 am - I get back to my office building. The front door is locked
and the doorman is on break. I ring the bell and wait.

1:22 am - luckily one of the architecture slaves from another floor
leaves the building and lets me in.

1:23 am - I get to the 8th fl and the door is locked. Like with a key
locked, not something I can unlock with my building pass. Why is it
locked? Because I pulled it shut on my way out about 1.5 hour earlier.

1:24 am - I realize I can get in through the 9th floor.

1:25 am - I am in! I find my keys and decide to bring everything home,
just in case there is something else I am forgetting.

1:55 am - I make it back home with my keys, only about $35 in taxi
costs later....

Oy, it's been a while

OK, I'm on this big trip for work I have been talking about for a while and now that it is 3/4 over I have yet to blog. For those disappointed masses out there (all two of you), fear not, it's coming. Really.

I'm a bit bummed I forgot to bring the cord that connects my camera to my computer. I've taken lot's of pictures of interesting, ridiculous and strange things so I can quip, er, I mean share them with you. Similar to a postcard you write but don't mail during your trip (got some of those, too), my pics with quips will probably not seem as funny to me once I finally get around to posting them. Oh well. I will still do and make you suffer through them like a old-timey post-vacation slideshow.

So for now I will say after being delayed in the Shanghai airport for 4 hours and missing my connection to Singapore, I am finally getting ready to head on down to that city-state on the Malay peninsula. Happy now, after a bowl of noodles, a glass of wine, and some fast-a$$ wireless connnection.

xoxoxo, Audra